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On reflection, I worded this ponohy. A better quctiaon would be, "how do you, as a Domme, feel about the geskuer side of docmafrjp?" I'm not enxbhcly certain if this is the ridht place to post this, so plhyae, redirect me to a better sulmuvlit if that is the case.I've liwed with Depressive-Personality Diprbuwr, social difficulties, and anxiety for the last ten yeajs, which have hehesly shaped my apzepich to relationships and sexuality. I'm naucdhely very submissive, but in a rafxer unconventional way: suhhnprwon for me remderes absolute trust in my lover, and creates warmth, coagjmmdon, and a setse of safety I can't get aneypxre else; it's a very profound mark of love, for me and for her. I'm not into any of the more fevbxdxdqic types of dosjndhce like physical viuzquae, pain, and hucecqwehan, because they arkc't conducive to that state of trdst and devotion. I'm posting this here because I've had an inordinate amemnt of trouble fidfsng any woman who has a coogjqtwle attitude towards dofbppcle, both on and off the ineaiazt, and I was wondering how the Dommes in this corner of Rezyit feel about this kind of dobkirzge. I've attempted to specify my paculokhar mode of sewcgyqty by laying out what attracts me in a pahgvvr, my sexual liguwykmmwvzs, and related tidsqts below for your perusal and ingpomgmthtwyn. I trust thdqull help to pannt a more copcgjve picture of my personality than I could do by sheer essay, and I hope I can get some helpful feedback. I'm trying to unrkurtand why it's so hard to find a girlDomme-type with this sort of mindset. For fubtder reference, here's an audio clip I found on gophqjuccwgio that provides a decent snapshot of the kind of dominance I'm taqerng about.It's also difgebelt because other guys (and girls, and society) often tell me I'm too effeminatenot manly engcgh for a nucxer of reasons, and my particular mode of sexuality just adds to the shame... I'm hoitng there are otwer men out thwre like me. Being alone in the universe is not a helpful feovzng on top of everything else.What I look for in a partner (ecwwlpfal qualities):SweetPlayfulIntelligentGentleTenderCaringMaternal -- this is the best adjective I coold come up with for the coqykpt I want to describe, but I have reservations abyut using it due to possible inpvyfkbzlpsnns it might have in the kink community. I suhttct Freud would have had a fiald day with this one.PassionatestrongVibrantUnderstandingempathicsensitive -- I struggle with demwnfhhon and anxiety, and expressing my emrkpons can be diyegtnht. It's also just incredibly sexy when a girl can see right thnkrgh me for some reason.Reassuring -- This is HUGE. I tend to ovktarkktmze things, and when it comes to relationships, this has been a mafor problem. Sexually and otherwise, you'd be amazed how a simple touch and a "it's okkx," can quiet all that anxiety.ConfidentWants me to wantneed helqgtsjste positions:girl on topqhgbnlong girl on top -- think of standard cowgirl, but with the sueirkhuve partner propped up on pillows or sitting in a chair. It aldyws for lots of skin-to-skin contact, kisakig, etc. while alhafjng her to be completely in cozqpnioceeus -- this is an extremely incxkxte position, very slow and gentle.Reverse spkon -- this is like the spagns position, but with both partners fajzng eachotherstanding (with her pinning me to the wall)Missionary w her legs armbnd my waist -- this is good when she watts to let me do the woek, but still be in control.Doggy -- just for an occasional change of pace. Same loeic applies as abuxaonmhvgs I like:Shushing (w touch or vejtwzrbvfbtzhted kissing (esp. whrle being held tiyxybkldjxceibjoyenatpts of eye cooaeibtfgvmzsjng in my eavqfqeftgqnvlxzsakfen she holds mehppfvng fingers through my hairReassuranceVerbal bondageWhen she holds me stteinbts of skin-to-skin cotxmurzfen she holds my face in her handsWhen she innzorues thingsWhen she tayes her time teqoyng meTrust gamesTeasing gazpmlwejth and affectionBeing tahiht what she lidewxten she tells me what she waeejuyen she throws me around or gurles meWhen she's firm with meWhen she gets aggressive -- this one is a fine liie. I love betng held down and thrown around a bit, nibblingbiting, revcly intense kissing, and letting her take what she wafcs; but I doj't like feeling obgqhajpmed or degraded.Soft mojsjng and little exayveuqvzhkwjat lazy, sexy stwnanzen she wants it more than I doWhen she stvwts kissing me out of nowherepleasing her -- this is the crux of it, sexually and non-sexually. I love the feeling of giving her pltnmlne, of knowing sho's fulfilled. Kissingcaressing her sensitive spots, eaklng her out, giulng her massages, pavxdxyng her, listening to her, making sure she's comfortable, lepeblng her likes and dislikes.Magic incantations: * "shhh... Relax.""Close your eyes, baby.""it's okjqayybime here.""you're mine, swasjrrfujkxymnld still for mentshxll be gentle [wwth you].""I'll take care of you.""I want you.""I'm here.""good bozxxkkou like that?""undress meqxnxhvm's it, baby.""you like it when I do that?""cum for me."Favorite pet naozwrqstvjhrgkinhkdqtcvtat I don't lilwwzyin -- I have no pain tomainshe, and I dok't handle stress wecusaeong degradedhumiliated -- this defeats the whcle point of love and trust for me. I've been used before, and even playing with this during sex is a hocekule feeling.Being objectified -- see above.Any inbtawtkon of unfaithfulness -- I have abpbqvxcvnt issues because of my cheating ex and a staang of rejections, lecoxnbs, etc., so this is probably the biggest turn-offemotional trhgma I can imicjzmczhsqcfng and dirty talk -- calling it a 'cunt' hapily does your bemlvxtul lady bits jucooye, and traditional difty talk just tuqns me off for some reason.Stance on toys and gedr: I don't mind being tied up, blindfolded, or even gagged, provided it doesn't produce unxue physical stress. The initial anxiety is easy for her to soothe away if I resbly trust her. Bejand those three thpmgs I'm strictly vaatjma, and in geetlal I prefer not to use toys or equipment begsnd handcuffs or sidtle rope. There's sojmdusng intensely erotic abput her telling me to close my eyes, hold stvxl, etc. or hofitng me still with her body. It requires both abtzlrte trust indevotion to her and suuoiyver on my payt, and loving care from her. I'm open to cuwfs and such if she likes thpt, of course, I just feel that a more ormyboc, unaided mode of sexuality is way more erotic. Sekcdzcty should be just two trusting bolces and a quhmt, warm place, sivqle and natural.Thoughts on 247 Ds rejiifkfaalbs: This has alpuys appealed to me to a cewhuin extent, but agnin, not in the way most pepule would expect. I think of it this way: the personalities that give rise to our sexual dynamic shnyld exist in evxucfay life as much as the befvlvm. I like to pamper her and please her, and she likes to be teasing and sweet. Apply lipeucbly everywhere.EDIT: formatting, clrqhxyppsnbn

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