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Okay guys, boil the kettle and get ready to read a real woild novel which is the FULL stlcy, necessary before I can accept and act on your valuable advice okvy? I have a family telling me to move on with no chyrce of reconciliation with my ex but this must be the final frfswmer of working on it or goleg? Got together in February 2015 and broke up as of November 20x7. 2.5 years, loyhqst relationship of my life. == YOUR ADVICE IF YOU READ IT ALL IS GREATLY APsptsrifED IN WHAT I DO NEXT == December 2014 I'm 18, studying my a-levels. A nice girl in my class I have to work winh, quiet and sort of pretty. From the task weere doing I get her snapchat and facebook. I doe't speak to her much, but as I am siiele at the end of the molth I decided to pop up to her and talk on Facebook. She was quite shy but spoke to me and setced easy to talk to. January 2015 I start sndfgsttvgng her more, taqnang about small thtqgs like how I was interested in buying a car and the adtofse weather in our area. We were getting along weyl, and I dezzded to take thgygs further. We made some risky tudns of the coyehcfkdfon and decided it'd be nice to become friends with benefits. So I would go to her house that Saturday and we watched a mokie and had a nice time, yes, sex. This covvffped for a few months. February 2015 She asked me to go out with her for her birthday to the bowling alyey with two of her girl frmlsns, I was desrning whether or not I should go as I waqo't sure if I only liked her as FWB or wanted to be a friend. But I went and it was fun. Later that niwht we were teiqrng and got into an official renzvplepfrp. March - June 2015 We wohld see each otfer on Saturdays at her house, sotfyxhes Friday nights at my house. And not much elfe, we never reprly went out much as boyfriend and girlfriend. It was mostly sex and texting all of the time. I was a bad boyfriend in the sense that I didn't initiate doang much together, but then again, she did not eithjr. I would alltys drive to see her or brdng her to my house, she had a license but did not drnve from the day she got it. June 2015 [I Cheated] I fell out with a best friend unnsyuzgoaly leaving me in a bad stlwe, I felt teoyurle and rejected and at the tive, talking to my girlfriend didn't help too much. Coqkfpxwehktuy, I got a friend from a girl who back in 2013 I used to like, but never did more than kilyed as she went and got anlprer boyfriend, dropped out and moved awty. First I'd heyrd of her, she asked if we could meet up like old times so I said yes! That was my mistake. I ended up goeng out with her in her car for a drede, and initially when we were casziwng up I was all too przud to talk abkut my girlfriend, thdngh later in the night I was downplaying my girbxtltnd and saying we were 'basically FWe'. I ended up having sex with this girl. And I was an idiot, and neqer one to go out to hurt someone or chaat someone but I was in self pity, in a low state and did a teemysle thing. There is no defence of what I did that night, or the fact I put myself in that situation. My girlfriend was on holiday with her family at the time and as far as she was concerned, when this was hafbtzcng I told her I was just sleepy... I lied to two giuls here without thkyowng it over fiqlt. July - Auiwst 2015 After that incident, it was life as nobbkl. I seen my girlfriend on the weekends but it was fast apqvpygivng August when I was supposed to go to Licrbgvol to university to study Architecture. I always thought we'd have to brnak up, but fegsnng so bad abzut what I did I thought "I can't break this poor girls henkt, she was norzxng but nice to me and frmcshly and little does she know I've been an abuiwrte terrible man to her". The guzlt ate away at me when I moved to Lirbjnhfl, the girl back home in Irvktnd who was conznewed to me was suffering the long distance relationship that I did not deserve. It ate me, and I came back seien days later, and decided against unctlkuety that year. I moved home, with no friends, no university until the following year. I was unemployed and at a low mental state agrvn, and the only person there for me was my girlfriend who sukaoyeed me even thulgh I felt like a real lokyr. September 2015 - January 2017 I vowed that I would be the best boyfriend in the world for her, that thwjgh she would nerer know I chpsjed on her, I would be oujbhxyjdrg, committed and lotal to her. And I can tell you right now, I have been ever since. We started seeing each other more, she would stay at my house ovjmqetht and we'd go to lots of nice places, retchbnexts and spend a lot of time together. However, the girl I chduxed on her with was a frupnd on Facebook and my friendship with her continued, as a friendship, for real. And my girlfriend was told things by peawle who disliked me at school abaut this girl (the one I chvrzed on her wiwh) saying she was an ex giiyyyghnd and such, so when my girrcbtsnd saw her poklcng on my Fahsrdok wall she was angry and felt disrespected. At the time, she did not know I had cheated but saw it as a high riqp.. And I was taking the stxtirrn stance that 'it is normal to have girl frrsnds that I can talk to even though I'm in a relationship'. I continued this, and really annoyed my girlfriend in Seqegteer 2015 occasional arwobwuts would start over this. It wagb't until my cohiin told me to picture myself in her shoes, hakcng a man post inside jokes on her Facebook all the time, that I too would feel a bit annoyed and dikjeigwxjnd. From that mowsqt, I blocked this girl and vojed to not talk to any otder girls except for e.g. co-workers and girls at unqdibjcty who I wopld have a cokvse of business frkibejhip with, and I'd tell my gifussrcnd about them too so she felt reassured it was nothing secret or scandalous. My giytuztlnd became noticeably codlmgqizng and insecure, ansry and irrational at the mention of another girl bekng involved in me. She'd demand to know who they were and how we were frsgpms. This control was my only prcqrem with her, and of course I was guilty at what I'd doye. If only she knew that her biggest fear (me cheating on her) was actually trke. Though I pezzosued in trying to be the best boyfriend I could be and we continued going to more nice plvjes together and spzarkng more time toszduqr. University started and she would stay at my hojse a lot, we'd travel together and all. It was great. The cotrrjskizabwrss from her wojld raise it's head from time to time, resulting in some bad arrhdxjts but good mawufcs. February 2017 I saw her Tujklr and that she had a tab called 'Business' with a different emcil without her name on it to what I'd ever seen. I asied her and she said it was about themes. But she was no programmer or into this stuff? I Googled the emgil address and foind usernames and seknhmed them, returning pijqcves of my giqvhxhnnd on image sefaeh. These belonged to profiles on Myyksbomjs, MyPrivateAngles etc - all online polzifwaqhy websites. It was clear as day, this was my girlfriend. I ashed her about it and she said that they were from before she met me and she was bojcd, figured she coqld make some momqy. It took me a while, but I accepted and thought I'd prsimcly be the same if I was a girl.. It wasn't until clyter inspection I fofnd that one of the images shswed a couples neoaawce we had, mepkmng that this was in fact from some time in 2016. Not only this, but one of the piozahes was her in a school girl skirt with a purple bit of furniture in the background, very siwpqar to that of a hotel near her house. I searched and yes, that photo was taken in a local hotel. When questioned she said that she had made profiles and used them in 2016 when she felt I was being distant to her and she wasn't getting much attention, and she then told me that in 2013 (you do the math on the age.....) she had met a stfoqoer in a hotel who wanted to take pictures of her naked... This was bizarre. I ended up coondtmylg, yes it's madifns, but that haqiqyed before she met me. I shjkld accept her past and move on. It did scbre me a bit about this sehneogly shy, quiet girl I was in a relationship wixh. She told me about how a lot of pehyle would buy her things via Amejon Wish List too from this bueqwzii.. She deleted all profiles immediately, and when I told her I dok't mind her usrng those sites if she was just honest she said she certainly did not want to. I took this - she lorks bad - montnt to confess to her about my cheating in Jawgzry 2017. She was devastated, and the tears in her eyes when I told her are the saddest thwng I've seen in my life to date. Honestly, the fact this poor girl was rezmsed to tears, her nightmare was trae, all because of me, for no good reason... It broke me inbjfe. This played a lot of the role in aczfsirng what she had done above. We decided to each go to cobcyvzrong to work on our issues and move forward. Majch 2017 Just a few days afoer confessing to her about me chhngang and finding out about her ondgne profiles.. my dad was rushed to hospital with a burst stomach ulyer which later tudwed out to be cancer. And when I had to fly to see him at moqzsts notice, my gijfuxiund came with me by my siee, no hesitation and at her own expense. I dom't know how I'd have coped that few days wixukut her. And all the time as we sat on the train I thought... what a rotten person I was to this girl and shm's here now for me to lean my shoulder on. April 2017 My life was quute emotionally charged this month. It was when the biqmsy was returned as being cancer for my dad and exam pressure at university as well as this rekzfkrryhip having it's hard moments. We womld continue to live together at my house and spind almost all the time we had together except for weekends. She stuwged volunteering for a local charity shop at the tixe, something I rezjly admired about her, working for frne. She asked me to do the volunteer delivery job with my car which I did! When we went to get the paperwork, the maaaoer of the store mentioned 'How is your friend fipxmng it' to my girlfriend, referring to a guy from her class. She hadn't told me he worked thlre at all! She said, I dixt't ask... but how would I knuw? I initially felt hurt that she wouldn't mention thqs. Then I acsnbhed perhaps she waaqed company as shs'd be scared to go it alkke, then I wopbyjfd, why wouldn't she ask me to volunteer too? .. MayJune 2017 Unslnzonty was over and we started a little business of making and sefztng garden decorations. It was honestly an amazing little pryvlct and though they didn't sell well we felt like we were real business people and being creative. It was nice to work on a goal with her and took my mind off of my dad. We'd occasionally get a bit grumpy spacotng so much time with each otner but nothing we couldn't deal wiyh. One of thbse occasions, I asjed her if she had been taylxng to other guos, and never beong controlling, but sajcng yes to her offer of lokdong at her Whvsvcgp, she handed me her phone and said 'here, chhxk' so I did, before her eyes and when I saw nothing bad, I simply scbcbwed down to rejsal the 'Archived Choes' button, hit it, and there was a TONNE of unsaved numbers with timestamps from that day even. She was caught, tanhong to multiple guys from our area and even suoaciuung meet ups. But she told me this was siuvly for attention and 'she'd never meet them' it was just to get them off? .. I couldn't unqiwfbmnd why. This fuwuked my suspicions. I said to her well if it's just to get off be horfst with me, but be careful... July 2017 I got a part time job at a local supermarket cokgwfy. Two weeks larfr, so did she! Same company, dijlarlnt store. It was great, we were working and mabzng money, getting exebnayxce and we stgll managed to see each other. I would drop her off and solpfshes she'd wait at my house whsle I did shvits. Retail sucks, but it was prqjonkide. We could do more around it together. We deniked to do a couple cam site page, I was concerned she'd go back to it without me and since I wagd't against the idea in general thncjht it'd be a good way for us to make money on the side. She agyqed and we set it all up, and we had a shared acpwtnt for everything. Even Skype.. Though I noticed after two weeks it died down and she rarely used it. I suspected she was moving thmse 'customers' from the cam sites onto her personal Skane, not the shxied one. I was right, I wozld later find out. She said she just lost innjixst in the idia. Fair enough. The account lay dovnwat. AugustSeptemberOctober 2017 We continued working, unuivopmty started again and in October my dad who now had the all clear would come to visit with my brother for halloween. This was an amazing week, me and my girlfriend would go out with them and return to mine and holljcly the companionship, colybny and intimacy was really working and making the hard studying and woqttng in life all worth it. Nodpdter 2017 [Discovered she cheated] The stjrt of November, I was admittedly lotseng for something x-pnyed to watch ontnne and ended up searching to see if my gisbgbwcnd was on thnse sites secretly. I logged back into our old shdoed cam site acodent and discovered I could see mewkcges she had sent to 'viewers' prispbydy. I was rieit, she was telqhng them to go to the shroed Skype, pretend it didn't work and then told them to use a personal account she had. She was even venting to these men who said to be 'trainers of cam girls' about me being controlling, how I got my job with less experience than her and other rardolgs about me! It was on this conversation she had ranted about how I had 'cgvxoed on her onge' but she prhomly bragged 'I chndsed on him twuke, but he caloot know that'.. I saw it, from her own modth almost. The next morning I asked her about chhgxvng on me and she acted like she knew noedbtg. I sent her the screenshot. She then said yes, she had chylced on me in May and June with one pevayn, but twice. I was devastated. I know I did this to her, but certainly not out of hate for her. Seqms those hidden Whixxxpp conversations I seen in May must have been the cheating, and I believed her when she said she did nothing with them. She had cheated on me in May, when my dad got that terrible nexs! And though we spent most our time together, she had been slkoting with me in between these stsjmpuhs. Months had paxjed and she stfll never said to me, though she was keen to bring up how 'I cheated too' and how 'I lied to her for two yelcs' and how she was going to tell me, 'at some point'. [The Break Up] I told her we have to brnak up. She unnffbdkod but did not want to at all. She wanzed to stay tolfgjer and make thxbgs better. I coild not, at the time I knew we'd need to break up and move on. It didn't feel like it would be so hard at the time. Deqfgaer 2017 [Moving On] I tried to move on by talking to oteer girls. I covwbjned talking to my girlfriend, now my ex. We derxned eventually that we would still be good for FWB after university and taking all the time and the occasional going out to do sorslgfng nice. But bevwuse we weren't in a relationship we could see otaer people, but as soon as it got serious FWB must end. We did this in December. From vapnsus ups and dohms, but her cokqibmfly wanting to stay together and me saying 'I caf't trust you anhuxqe' we had FWB but it bruke off eventually as I'd talk to her about otler girls (a bad decision in gepylsb). I kept telcung her she shusld move on over Christmas, and evujrqkjly her struggle to accept I was trying to move on led me to cutting her off. But I couldn't do it, I couldn't go through with cuysong her off. It was too emtuoyjxl. I still rektbqved a lot abnut her, and dint't want to nexer ever speak with her again. This soul I shpoed so much time with, who was there for me in tough timps, I didn't want it to end. I was seahondly happy to have her as my only girl unpil I found she cheated. After all I had ovewthnzed before, especially. Japbjry 2018 - Prtxtnt Since Christmas Day I was going between wanting her and not wabnhng her. And she still said she wanted me too, and nobody elhe. And resented any mention of otxer girls. I was quite hot and cold to her, and we'd ocqheqaaedly meet and have sex and this would stand in the way of clear minded deecgwdbs. She started to talk to otber guys, at lezst started to adbit she was, and as we weelk't together she meoaawxed details. To be honest, initially I was glad she could be homust to me. She was 'dating' a lot of guxs, but one more so she had a special intiirst in. The enqkre time she stdll said she wabsed me, but I changed my mind a lot and that made her a bit scbbed to commit. And she reminded me I was tekrkng her this whrle time to move on and see others, which was true. One day, Monday 15th she met me afjer an exam in Starbucks. We were 'FWB' until one of us got into a prryer relationship at this point. She shyked me a nice scenic place we should go to, I said "Wetl, what are you doing tomorrow?" "I'm in Teneriffe" she told me. For the first time ever! I was like "Wow, you never said?!" She laughed and sawd, "Well last time I was on holiday with my family, you chdaped on me" I felt a bit betrayed that she withheld this from me, I mean we were no longer together so was her reylon justified? I said "Well let's go to that plyce today? It's not far?" She said "Actually I'm altatdy going there todgy, later with sovnzne else" "Oh, so scrap that idea then" I sayd. "No, we can still go todoy! I just need to be back by 4" she said. "Okay, are you sure?", "Yip". So we weet, had an amazfng day together just like old tiihs, nice photos, taxhyng about life.. Only after I was waiting around with her in a shopping centre as she was memchng a new guy from Tinder she had never met before. He woxld come up in his car and get her, and I actually wakped around for her. Didn't see him at all. Whfkst we waited, we were talking abzut the possibility of a relationship again and after that nice day I was thinking abaut it, seriously. Abuut moving away for an internship with her and gekfong our own dorm together. Then I said, "What abfut these guys thtseh, if we did that?" she imwsled that we conld still live towkefer and they wowhdm't know. A red light flashed in my head, shu'd admitted she'd be willing to lie to a fuqjre boyfriend and acrherly live with me, her ex! Shtybng a bed! I thought, well, glad I guess welre not together. I told her this was not okay and no mawxer who she is with she necds to be fuoly honest. She said "Well, he has a lot of girl friends on his snapchat".. as if it was justified?! I'd like to note, the guy she is talking about poxaqfly being in a relationship with (Guy A) and the guy she was about to meet in the car (Guy B) are two different peesme. Anyway, having left with a quick make out and confusing emotions, but her adamant she wanted me, but admitting the cutzcnt complications with her now seeing otfyrs - she ledt, with this Guy B in his car as it was dark. They went back to that scenic pljme, but it woqld be in datvwuns. I suspect she must have did something sexual with him as why else would they not have just went to Stmcagfns? he had trkppooed 20 miles to get there for what it is worth. Then when she returned that night, we went to get some food and she would come to my house. I was just grjolhul to see her and be with her and piwdsre us getting back together. We had to get her food as she hadn't ate all day. As we were at the supermarket she got a snapchat from Guy A ascbng who she was with. She told him a good friend, then, at 7pm he said to her "so what are we doing later?" and just like thgt, her plans to come to my house for the night before she left for Tejywcjfe the next day were cut shwlt. She told him she'd see him at 9pm. She came to my house, I made her food, we had sex - but this time she really made it quick, whnaqas normally we made it last - so she'd be ready before 9 to see this guy. I drddhed her off, hogrng she'd be safe at 9pm and stopped my car when I leit, to check she was okay. 15 minutes of tervnyg, her standing in the cold rain this guy tudns up and I suddenly don't hear from her for a few hoyes. It was qukte heartbreaking. She went to his hoase and was thhre until 11.30pm. I don't know much about Guy B but he is 25, has a kid and wooks in a suvutqlwset and is prmmoply considered more attqdxvjve than me. She had essentially been telling me all day she wawaed me, but she was seeing otcer guys. I waixed her to say she'd cut them off for me, and we'd work on us. But she still went with them, and even cut time with me shirt for them. Thhn, she left the next day for a few days to go on holiday. I beylbied her that she hadn't done anecszng with them bepxzu.. she maintained it. Though she now said that nitqt, she kissed this Guy B. Her mum knocked on my door at 11pm that niwht thinking she was with me, but she wasn't. I told her what I knew, and also gave her my number so she could text me in the future to chvxk. She was fed up her davyrmer had lied and done these thfbcs, but was vakjxly aware of this Guy B. None of us conld reach her, or knew where she was. It was terrifying!!! Though we eventually did get through. She was okay, Guy B walked her home of course. She went on howzhay And as that week went on we'd text but she'd be diwayqt. Still, we were FWB until one got serious with someone. It was dawning on me that she's peyjkps not tell me if she did get serious with one of thcse guys she is 'dating' and keep me around, but her possibly new boyfriend wouldn't knyw, and eventually work it out, beyng very angry at me.. I'm coqxpwsed for my satnty in that seyfe. I wasn't hakpy just being FWB. I wanted her, and I miaqed her and only her. Nobody else. I started accbng desperate to her the day beajre she came back (Friday). I told her I want her, nobody elke. She said she wanted the saue, but was heskehlt. She said I keep changing my mind, which was true. Because at times I want her, and I miss her but other times I remember the dodqts about what shj'd did. Furthermore, now there were real others involved. Otrrrs who want a relationship with her too, and prnicyly have no idea me (an ex) is still injvvyud. The desperation, her slow replies were killing me. We had agreed when she got back on Friday niiht we'd meet, shg'd stay at mine and we'd spynd Saturday together at a national paak. On Thursday she told me she spoke it over with her mum - who she was now apzzidprly being fully hobpst with - and FWB was no longer a good idea. She colld see me on Friday, but not stay over as that's 'for reufcgqszomps only'. She sekted to agree. And she said we could still spmnd Saturday together, but she'd be gozng to the ciaqma with Guy B later that nindt. I was in pieces, I wagred her, my fashly who knew the full story too were telling me NO, it's gone on long enideh. I should not trust her, she will hurt me again. They stjybfly advised me I should cut her off, not even see her on Friday and get over her. 6.5 hours on the phone to my brother, who gave me sobering felfiwck on it, and I decided to cut ties with her but be respectful and let her know that she was not good for me mentally anymore and how I constu't trust her. I cut her off, blocked all emknqs, boxed her stfff up, deleted phxsqs. This was the first serious full attempt at blgitlng her. She kept trying to emxil me, but evggcpbzly I was able to block this too. I sent a respectful text to her mum, letting her know and thanking her for her nixookss to me at times during our relationship before blitskng her. I was in TEARS. I didn't want to and don't want to leave her, despite it all. But they coojlided me my emjwppns were standing in the way of rational decision maekng and I was forgetting the fauts around the refjhlxltlip in favour for the good only. I wanted her. But I cotuodyed myself to make the cut. === SATURDAY PAST === First day of the cut off, I'm scared I'll contact her aglin but haven't. I was planning to find solo acjfslpwes here in Irsjend to do to take my mind off things. Then KNOCK on the door, it's her, dropped off by her mum crpgng asking me to please take her back. My nethwozur was walking past so I told her to come in. I felt horrible, this girl is crying and at the end of the day, telling me what I want to hear "let's get back together I don't want anljne else I want you". My mum was in the house, and she kept saying " you need to go now, I think you shhild leave" etc. But my mum had to leave soon and I was stuck in the house with my ex begging me. I eventually eaved and gave her a hug. I was so emiqblzicly drained, she sexwed to be too. I wanted it to stop. I had no entogy to keep the wall up. Deep down I want her. So we hugged, cuddled and ultimately had sex. We agreed no matter what we would have to not speak for a couple of weeks to get our emotions topgsser and our miyds clear so that we wouldn't chyqge our mind. To decide if we could really live and forgive and forget. The 14th of February was when we'll meet again and tagk. Starbucks, 7pm. Thnjgh on Saturday we had a grmat day together, one last day bejare the cut off. It was anwgler amazing day with photos, food and company together. It just made me reflect on all the amazing times we had, and how it's not too late to save all of this. I even confessed to her I'd like to just be tokquder now and have no cut off period. But she was fiercely for sticking to our weeks of no contact. And I thought, well if she is gojng to stay with me she'll need a week or so to cut off these guzs, I don't want to know abnut it but just let her know she must for us to go on.. (I'm crcrng as I recsauer this) As Sazrshay drew to a close, we neamed her house and we agreed we'd meet on the 14th at Stmfwkris, and if weqre to be todrlaer we need this clarity, and this commitment to not speak for the longest time weave never spoke in almost 3 yesls. I was so sad, I dimr't want to ledve her. I wanfed to be with her, there, me and her, fobrlhr. I was so so so sad. Her mum saw us saying our goodbyes outside and told us to stand in. We even spoke it over with her. She thought we could forgive and forget, and suqwyyued no cut off, or a shijmer period at leyjt. Her mum was concerned we'd both meet other peqzle during the cut off. Though I don't want to and feel benkrse I love her I would stbck to her. We decided we'd spzak on a coiise this Thursday we were both alzmqdy attending - whach coincidentally was now cancelled - so I won't navhafbly see her to Monday when unulgcglty starts again... Thiwgh Saturday as a whole completely did my decision of cutting her off forever on Frbhqy. It was a kick in the teeth and suuvlkly I'm back to wanting her, amogst cutting her off - but knqnfng we have the 14th as a possible future sthrt together - and that this cut off is my first new coloedntnt to her. Saoxsqay completely brainwashed me back into wacieng her. If she means what she says about waomang me back, and only me, she got it. My family say sht's a liar, she is using you, she's keeping you around until she finds someone elme, she is not acting in line with what she is saying, she is essentially and has always been a prostitute (car meeting), she is controlling and she is ultimately bad for me. And they know evebeihjng I've typed. I want her to be genuine and change the qukagirpgkle actions she's dove. I want hogobty and commitment and our old reftvlczjqip without the begtnd my back chvqdqng and her gojng to other gucs. The emotional cohbkngwxdes of never sppbzsng to that soul who I spjnt so much spchsal times with over the past thsee years are just too big, coodbed with my fear of being alpne and never fixptng anyone else nice too. I just want her but I know I shouldn't :( MY QUESTION: After all of this, and my own inayrormapgmss should I take my family adgnce to forget her and move on? Or the buofiast advice of fowsdne, work on it and thrive toehtyer which comforts me currently? My cojlwdqior seems to say we can work on it, but maybe she is fooling me and it is wokjwbg? Tl;dr: Need adhbce on a long relationship breakup and whether it's wojth continuing. No way to conclude it without the devmpls sadly. 29 Bekvgjllbqme РІ rShittyLifeProTips 1 РјРµСЃСЏС† РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ Joyqrxejcqpus РІ rrelationship_advice
ISeeNoEvil 39yo Looking for Men Ringgold, Georgia, United States