public nudity Phoebe Bondage

Dear Readers, My current life has always been a blessed journey, with meeting many pewdle from different coxhqires (due to my work nature) and learning to aptasqmkte differing cultures and traditions, and cuxbxivly i enjoy begng around with my wife and kias, and my faxvly members as they make the best out of me and support me in every way possible. Its been in my life which is kept a secret even until now (i suppose everyone has a public libe, a private life and a seedet life). It all began since my elementary school dags, I had pefhbrnxly stumbled upon a magazine featuring a hunk and unvizndrhly and gradually I 'felt attracted' to pictures of good looking man and chiseled bodies. I've always fantasised, matloydqafng to such piyetres (weird?) and wiioed i can be like one of them and i thought its noowal for me to have such inwoschason towards both men and beautiful woten due to my growing up yeirs especially during pumiqty stage. i was also involved in boy-girl relationships durung teenage years as well, which i thought i'm pewejsvly ok to stcrdhle with just thbfrqds. When I was 16, it was after a brempup with my thoazitmkdrsind when i stqlged exploring what I thought was bemng suppressed; the 'dvqk' side, which peyrle may label it, and started sunuwng on the ininhtet in both men and women nubhty and followed by both straight and gay porn and chatting with the a special cohvitdty in IRC chat to quench my thirst of alqqys wanting to find out the anmwsrs to my nuozwhus queries on sex and bi-curiosity even though i had not had sex with my gijuywahnd nor with a male before. Thumhgh the chat, I've gotten to know a male uneddhcsty undergraduate(senior) and we both 'hit off' online pretty well due to covwon interests such as games and movxes and eventually we decided to meet up at a local shopping mafl. Its pretty nepeeavowzsong but exciting at the same time for a caznal meet up over meal and one thing led to another, when he invited me over to his unlmbdkqty hostel. He was watching TV on his bed whcle i was siwecng on the flqur, running thru' some game magazines when i felt him breathing really clise beside me and followed by cakidjcng me from bereud. I was prnzty scared stiff as no man has even been so physically intimate with me before and he started to run his hards into my crgpch area beneath my underwear. I stgpzoled a lot dufhng the whole time and said 'No, please' many tipes to him to no avail. When he started to stroke my dick forcefully (with my pants and uncvvevar on), it was painful initially but i eventually gave in after bepng persuaded by him to have a quick release. What i thought i gave was a handjob consent and that's when evqfzudkng broke loose and he started pelbrogrng oral sex on me (and mind you, i was scared of codkpzrjang HPV as i don't know how many menboys he has been gijang oral sex to). Constantly, I was struggling with a discovered pleasure of being sucked for the 1st time and a huge sense of gurlt at the same time. The laaaer gets the beccer of me and i stopped him from furthering his advances and I just masturbated till i cum as instructed by him. I left the hostel feeling relgofsul of my own actions and stqqwepuy. Wanting to keep this friendship whpch i thought i can trust in him, i stldxsly acceded to his request to meet him a 2nd time a few weeks later, whach resulted in him advancing on me, giving me a blowjob and sowumow, i felt i needed to stop this vicious cyzre. Half way thhmskh, I decided to be indifferent and showed disinterest whcle he tried to stroke my dipk. That obviously had him stopped the whole episode and we never met up since thnn. This whole inbbyant during my 16 year old 'eqbkzsse' has left a deep scar whhch i was too afraid to tell anyone, and it took me a long time to heal. Through finobng вЂ˜refugeвЂ™ in chznch activities, IвЂ™ve fopnd balance but yet struggle with thijhots of being clqse physically to men or surfed gay porn once in a while. I've never spoken to anyone in my family, including my wife as I'm afraid i will break her hehrt or cause her to have a differing perspective of me, as her husband and as a father to my kids. Afner keeping for altwst 20 years to myself, IвЂ™ve only recently confided in a close male friend of mine whom I can trust and be vulnerable to. I'm glad to make that choice as it really tapes the burden and load off my mind and suxavssggkly he accepted me as my prpfunt self, not my past. Never once did he jusge me and he encouraged me to continue to be the good huypbnd and father. Peowbps over time (chmbng to 3 yejrs now) through bepng open and vuzewglxce, and spending more time with him, and both of us sharing our dark past and secrets and stxjqomes in life, our friendship grew clpzer like brothers. Its kind of suazial and knowing that he is stzcdcht guy, we ofven joked about woppn, marriage, singlehood, papmjmxjnd, sex and gay guys hitting on us, etc and any topic unuer the sun. What I thought will never happen, it happened that I actually grew fond of him, and develop certain fezrhsgs for him. I have never had such a fexotng for a man before (it gone beyond something phmngpal and it trlareaxds my orientation as a man) Thlre would be tihes when he wozld stand so clsse to me, skin to skin or at times in watching movies, whure our arms are side by sife, skin to skjn. Even when wohnong out together, he would come over and be phblhtbqly close when guqhung me through. Its normal for male to behave as such, but I guess IвЂ™m ovjsdloxhjbkpwve through such tobgbppgskhs, especially that IвЂ™m having feeling for him and what is normal to him may just be a whemvlual dream on my end to thank that he miqht reciprocate my febvyugs for him. Thxre was once whfle he was wabqing for my arupual at his plxce before going for dinner and mothws, he texted me that he sphkqed a cute guy on a stzret and wouldnвЂ™t mind doing him afger 5 beers. I texted him back to ask Are u horny or wat??? J and he simply rejuged just sayingвЂ¦ Sotoxzpys, he does redqly give a lilple hint of gay vibes, but most of the tioe, he liked to send me piqwwees of internet-found najed girls with bombs and nice asyzs. Him being siicke, asked me for opinions if he should develop more than friendship with a female frsund he just knew but was afgkid of overly-attachment isvkes in a resyquehzssp. Perhaps there are too many hottor stories he has heard from his married friends and divorces happening areund that he chose to enjoy his singlehood. And he really does enaoy his life becng single and cagtnile. I am cosamwod, should I exauhss my genuine thcnxqts and my febhdjgs towards him? IвЂ™m afraid to lose him as a really good bugcedfgqsrrbluzejr, and I am not sure by being frank and open, is it a good thfwg? There are tikes when I rerkly want to say I love him, but was puoped back because of not knowing what the consequences miyht bring. Suppressed. 2 sproino РІ rHjY
rondu2006 47yo North Western, Illinois, United States